This past week has been a bit of a "mental break" (down) for me due to a massive cold virus, which kicked my ass. In going through 30 hrs. of not being able to sleep or dream, but rather watching my mind (almost totally Left Hemisphere) obsessing compulsively and driving me nuts and to exhaustion, I had to let go and admit defeat. I processed and did some healing and journaling but I was 'sick' unlike I have been for years. I thought I was pretty healthy before get this cold virus. I sort of was and sort of was not. The final summation of this really hard sick-time, break-down-time, is that I was over-reving and turning into a workaholic. I liked being busy with meaningful work but the projects and emotional commitments and mental stress had got to me. In my not sleeping, obviously my system was teaching me about my getting 'too high' for too long on work and saving the world kind of idealism. It burnt me out, and in comes the cold virus to really make sure I go down and out. My whole perception of everything turned darker and negative and I was aware this would be frightening and depressing, but luckily I had enough personal and relationship capacities with my life-partner to work through this all. I'm on day five now of the cold virus kicked down. I can write again and think again with some clarity and positivity. So, I wanted to share this video above written and directed by Hillary Broughter (2020 Breaking Glass Productions).
This is the second time my partern and I have watched this film over the years. I wont' give the spoilers to what this film is about. I would have titled the film differently "The Vicodin Murders." Of course, that's a lot harsher and negative sounding than "South Mountain" and sales of the DVD woud thus have been stunted. Yet, that is what this film is about-- it is about women and mental illness (disorders) and how they function (especially as mothers) with the chronic susceptibility to fear-based distress, depression and anxiety, neuroses, psychoses, and how they try to normalize this as "caring" for everyone else. This strategy however, negatively affects everyone they love and even may be part of causing cancer of their own breasts that they love. I'll leave it up to you to interpret what mental illness can do when it is both treated by psychiatry (e.g., Vicodin) and/or by marijuana, and/or by sex, and/or by.... multiple ways of coping. But where is the healing, and so especially for the women (e.g., mothers, grandmothers) that take care of so many others? It's a potent film.
