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addiction to fear (3)

Journaling today, with some impulses stirring (not the first time in my life), to continue the prophetic thread of what seems inevitable. It's a life with purpose triple-dose with vision. It's a 'Calling' as they say. It's an 'Invite' as they say.

July 8/16- [some editing for brevity]

I've been thinking of the military black young 25 yr. old that just gunned down five white cops and injured 7 other cops in Dallas, TX before being gunned down himself. Not that I want to focus on "poor cops" or "poor whites" for I surely do not, as the proportions when compared to what is happening in the USA against blacks and others of color is a much more important story of chronic oppression and fear and "hate" (as they like to call it here). I'm thinking that everything about this latest mass murder incident in the USA (could be anywhere too) is connected to Culture Wars of one kind or another, touched by religionism, racism, classism, sexism, mental healthism... [long list] and... some would blame it on liberalism, progressivism, on and on. But, yes, most here would call it a "Gun Problem" and my echo response has always been, it is a "Fear Problem" (traumatic and historical and part of the growing culture of fear in the land, in the world).

Call it what you will, and my task is to record my research "test" as a good ethnographer would in/with another culture they are living in and studying simultaneously. I record. No one is contacting me--the outspoken, well-published and tireless "Fearologist" on the block. Sitting here in this local, in this nation. No calls. No one wants my help. I'll assist for sure, but of course, I'll assist only through the frame of In Search of Fearlessness Project (my life purpose). That would frame everything I could offer, in analysis and solutions as part of the Fearlessness Movement (my life research). Just too weird all these people-- just too inconvenient--even the radical (so-called young people) I shared my work with for so many years--they, are 'silent'. No calls.

They say they want change and transformation. Supposedly.

Oh, but they also say, I hear and do not hear it so loudly--as a critique: "But Michael, your In Search of Fearlessness Project is so 'heady,' 'intellectual,' and not 'down to earth' for the people to pick-up on." I say, "Oh" ...

Then I say, but usually don't say: "To change and transform the world (even the Gun Problem) is very simple. To live another way completely than we do, so as not to feed the mess we're in is very simple." I could say a lot of things, as I often write about, and end with showing how complex it all is--yet, (r)evolution is inevitable. Stick in there.

It won't cost anyone a penny more than what you are spending in your life right now! I imagine that might be useful as an entry to get their attention on the practical side of the In Search of Fearlessness Project. For 27 years I've searched for other ways of saying this. Today, I say it this way: "It won't cost anything but a decision and once made, everything will follow--for example, your money and capital won't follow Fear's Empire anymore. That will free it up for you to spend on the (r)evolution, on what the spirit of fearlessness is asking of us to make a commitment to. All else, a flood of change will precipitate from there, my friends, I guarantee. Yet, you have to make that decision."

To make a choice to follow the world's Fearlessness Movement can be done now. The $$ and capital and energy will follow, and be re-directed exactly where it needs to be by these choice-makers, I'll call them today, the "architects of fearlessness"-- we will build the alternative society, brick by brick. It won't cost you a penny more than what you are spending today. Oh, but yes, you are right, it may "cost" you a lot of other losses. Look out the window, my friends, at your life. There are questions to ask of why you and I grieve--carrying the blood of so many murdered... on and on... today, in the news, and coming soon, the next day...

I envision this (r)evolution no different in 1989 (with co-founding In Search of Fearlessness Project) than today. The $$ and creativity will flow, and I see it in proportion to those who made the choice to follow fearlessness not fear any longer. I'll be a guide for as much of that as I can, and I know a lot about making that choice. I'll watch you go through withdrawl--your addiction to 'fear.'

This is the Fearlessness Mission.... in its most practical application: a choice. Then all practical things will happen, and I'll witness them with you--and, we'll witness them together as one after another makes this choice and re-directs their entire life ways. You all know the 'words' that go with that kind of change, that kind of transformation. I'll not repeat them and load up with all the 'baggage' those terms have collected and distract you or I from the mission set forth here.

Oh, and, you'll likely have to make the choice more than once (that's a joke)--it's difficult, yet, practical as you going out to find a meal for yourself today. That's exactly how practical the fearlessness path is. I won't listen much to all your critiques. I've heard them all in 27 years. I've heard all the addicts, believe you me I have heard them--they are masters at procrastination and rationales to continue drinking from the poisonous breast that kills their soul. And, that harms the World Soul.

You've been invited. I await.

-----------

More and more I realize the essence of my being, my research, knowledge and wisdom, is that which is colored and wrapped in Idealist philosophy (in contrast to so-called Realist, Pragmatist, and so on). The Idealist says, "Let's make sure the spirit is connected with, as an idea(l) and then a choice is made based on that honest knowing what is 'Right' and the 'Way' and then, $$ and materials will follow, not fear and practical concerns as most important, but spiritual concerns and the radical trust is that that release will explode into the world as idea(l)s and 'make' love with material and practical realities and realms, and then manifestations of the more "visible" kind will occur. Every religious order of some commitment has shown what is possible to build from an Idea(l). This is where I operate from. There's seemingly no other way to create the needed flood of change today, other than this route, although, sure one can do little steps in other ways on other routes. That's what I envision. Always have, since 1989, there would become 'real' and material eventualities, communities and services at every "Fearlessness Center" in every major town and city in the world. It's really that simple, all driven by one joining the Fearlessness Movement (by any other  name).

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Journaling today, with some impulses stirring (not the first time in my life), to continue the prophetic thread of what seems inevitable. It's a life with purpose triple-dose with vision. It's a 'Calling' as they say. It's an 'Invite' as they say.

July 8/16- [some editing for brevity]

I've been thinking of the military black young 25 yr. old that just gunned down five white cops and injured 7 other cops in Dallas, TX before being gunned down himself. Not that I want to focus on "poor cops" or "poor whites" for I surely do not, as the proportions when compared to what is happening in the USA against blacks and others of color is a much more important story of chronic oppression and fear and "hate" (as they like to call it here). I'm thinking that everything about this latest mass murder incident in the USA (could be anywhere too) is connected to Culture Wars of one kind or another, touched by religionism, racism, classism, sexism, mental healthism... [long list] and... some would blame it on liberalism, progressivism, on and on. But, yes, most here would call it a "Gun Problem" and my echo response has always been, it is a "Fear Problem" (traumatic and historical and part of the growing culture of fear in the land, in the world).

Call it what you will, and my task is to record my research "test" as a good ethnographer would in/with another culture they are living in and studying simultaneously. I record. No one is contacting me--the outspoken, well-published and tireless "Fearologist" on the block. Sitting here in this local, in this nation. No calls. No one wants my help. I'll assist for sure, but of course, I'll assist only through the frame of In Search of Fearlessness Project (my life purpose). That would frame everything I could offer, in analysis and solutions as part of the Fearlessness Movement (my life research). Just too weird all these people-- just too inconvenient--even the radical (so-called young people) I shared my work with for so many years--they, are 'silent'. No calls.

They say they want change and transformation. Supposedly.

Oh, but they also say, I hear and do not hear it so loudly--as a critique: "But Michael, your In Search of Fearlessness Project is so 'heady,' 'intellectual,' and not 'down to earth' for the people to pick-up on." I say, "Oh" ...

Then I say, but usually don't say: "To change and transform the world (even the Gun Problem) is very simple. To live another way completely than we do, so as not to feed the mess we're in is very simple." I could say a lot of things, as I often write about, and end with showing how complex it all is--yet, (r)evolution is inevitable. Stick in there.

It won't cost anyone a penny more than what you are spending in your life right now! I imagine that might be useful as an entry to get their attention on the practical side of the In Search of Fearlessness Project. For 27 years I've searched for other ways of saying this. Today, I say it this way: "It won't cost anything but a decision and once made, everything will follow--for example, your money and capital won't follow Fear's Empire anymore. That will free it up for you to spend on the (r)evolution, on what the spirit of fearlessness is asking of us to make a commitment to. All else, a flood of change will precipitate from there, my friends, I guarantee. Yet, you have to make that decision."

To make a choice to follow the world's Fearlessness Movement can be done now. The $$ and capital and energy will follow, and be re-directed exactly where it needs to be by these choice-makers, I'll call them today, the "architects of fearlessness"-- we will build the alternative society, brick by brick. It won't cost you a penny more than what you are spending today. Oh, but yes, you are right, it may "cost" you a lot of other losses. Look out the window, my friends, at your life. There are questions to ask of why you and I grieve--carrying the blood of so many murdered... on and on... today, in the news, and coming soon, the next day...

I envision this (r)evolution no different in 1989 (with co-founding In Search of Fearlessness Project) than today. The $$ and creativity will flow, and I see it in proportion to those who made the choice to follow fearlessness not fear any longer. I'll be a guide for as much of that as I can, and I know a lot about making that choice. I'll watch you go through withdrawl--your addiction to 'fear.'

This is the Fearlessness Mission.... in its most practical application: a choice. Then all practical things will happen, and I'll witness them with you--and, we'll witness them together as one after another makes this choice and re-directs their entire life ways. You all know the 'words' that go with that kind of change, that kind of transformation. I'll not repeat them and load up with all the 'baggage' those terms have collected and distract you or I from the mission set forth here.

Oh, and, you'll likely have to make the choice more than once (that's a joke)--it's difficult, yet, practical as you going out to find a meal for yourself today. That's exactly how practical the fearlessness path is. I won't listen much to all your critiques. I've heard them all in 27 years. I've heard all the addicts, believe you me I have heard them--they are masters at procrastination and rationales to continue drinking from the poisonous breast that kills their soul. And, that harms the World Soul.

You've been invited. I await.

-----------

More and more I realize the essence of my being, my research, knowledge and wisdom, is that which is colored and wrapped in Idealist philosophy (in contrast to so-called Realist, Pragmatist, and so on). The Idealist says, "Let's make sure the spirit is connected with, as an idea(l) and then a choice is made based on that honest knowing what is 'Right' and the 'Way' and then, $$ and materials will follow, not fear and practical concerns as most important, but spiritual concerns and the radical trust is that that release will explode into the world as idea(l)s and 'make' love with material and practical realities and realms, and then manifestations of the more "visible" kind will occur. Every religious order of some commitment has shown what is possible to build from an Idea(l). This is where I operate from. There's seemingly no other way to create the needed flood of change today, other than this route, although, sure one can do little steps in other ways on other routes. That's what I envision. Always have, since 1989, there would become 'real' and material eventualities, communities and services at every "Fearlessness Center" in every major town and city in the world. It's really that simple, all driven by one joining the Fearlessness Movement (by any other  name).

Read more…

How Hard Is It To Keep Going On the Path?

Now and then it is important, I believe, for anyone, especially leaders of liberation to talk about their struggles. Not to over-indulge or anything, but to share the journey of fearlessness so that others can sense what it is like for others and leaders. If you were to read my boxes-full of my personal journals over the decades you'd get more than a handful of pages about the struggle to keep going. I sometimes just express "distress" and "despair" and "depression" and lots of rage and righteous indignation. Sometimes I get valuable insights. Mostly, a lot of sadness of how it is so hard to get others to 'take up the cause' and join me and/or join the Fearlessness Movement on the planet in their own ways. I certainly don't need to be the leader of it all. I look for fellow companions, comrades, and peers who are also leading this work. It's so hard to find them, and when I do they are so busy with their own worlds of goings on that they don't have time to engage with me usually very in depth. So, I suffer from an intellectual aloneness pretty much daily. 

The following excerpt from my journaling the other day is I think a good example of my struggles and how in journaling (often) I find some resolution to my internal conflict and other negative feelings and heaviness due to exhaustion of carrying out this work of fear and fearlessness with so little positive rewards from society. I certainly don't generally get paid for my primary cultural productions or efforts. I am financially dependent on my life-partner, not a situation that ever feels good to me or her. Yet, it is reality. 

April 22, 2016 - Fearism-t is not to be side-stepped, displaced by some simple elocution or filing away in a locked-up storage vault!!! -- in my mind. 

If I look at the underlying 'cause' of 80% of my mental and soul suffering daily it comes from my own (with others) forgetting that fearism-t, in one way or another is operating and tearing me down. All the triggering manifestations that disgust, sicken and hurt me (an other beings) are based in an ideological formation so hard to define and to keep a finger on. Let me tell ya! I just know intuitively, every few weeks or months, to pick up my own book/writing/teachings, especially the last book Philosophy of Fearism: A First East-West Dialogue (co-written with Desh Subba), and actually hold the book when I am in the midst of my despair and sickness of how the world is, of how I am. To hold that book and actually open it up and read it, is not easy for me to do when no one else around me is showing interest in the book nor asking me questions about it etc. Today, I read some sections and watched my mood change, the suffering disappear, and listened to my own voice articulate the essence of fearism-t, and its toxic impact... and it is as though I am reading into the entire W. society and civilization and its addiction to fear, and no wonder it doesn't want to change, nor engage with my work... or follow the path of fearlessness with any real sincerity never mind real discipline and sharing this journey with me. 

So, that's the jist of the journal entry, that went on and on much longer. I don't think it is necessary to write it all out. Maybe someday, historians will find these journals of mine and publish bits of them. I have shared my struggles with my daughters and with my life-partner, but not often. I have counseled on this material with many co-peer counselors over the decades, but there is really never enough quality attention for me to heal through all this distress and constant bombardment from the fearism-t ideology that is embedded in my own being, and all around me. It is an ideology so well designed to make us forget there is even an ideology of fearism-t that exists... and, I watch how easily I forget this, and I am the one who found this "truth" and labeled it, and have written more on it than anyone on the planet that I know of. That's how toxic and effective it is-- it can make me forget how to free myself from the 'Fear' Matrix, the 'Fear' Project, the Culture of Fear, the fearism-t complex itself. Forget. Forget. Forget. And, I suffer in that forget. I also think everyone does, but they are often not aware of what is causing the suffering. I have no doubt that fearism-t is operating to make people stop reading my work on fear and fearlessness. It is preventing them from coalescing with force, of following my lead... of taking their own lead to develop a radical fear management/education on the planet. Of course, there are rare (but fragile) exceptions to this rule and my observations. Nothing is sustainable right now... I just don't see the "movement" and I don't see the willingness to learn about it that is required. Again, I blame no one because I watch my own slipping 'off' track and forgetting, and suffering and forgetting why I am suffering. That is, forgetting the very deepest roots of that suffering in an imprisonment, that is not being led by fearlessness as it could be. 

I feel so alone on this battle, and yet, rationally I know I am not. The proof I am not alone was something I sought to find for years in my research. That's why I wrote a wikipedia on "Fearlessness Movement" of which is the introduction to this FM ning as well. Which, I encourage everyone who has signed up (or not even) to read that introduction--see the very first FORUM at the bottom of the webpage on this FM ning-- we are part of something much larger, lest we not forget this is so! 

Final note:  Yes, I am reminding, and I have uncovered a great systemic ADDICTION TO FEAR (1) that I live in, with, amongst... and, it would be a similar daily experience to live amongst an alcoholic family in denial, who has not gone to treatment-- I know that experience from my own upbringing, and I have worked as a therapist with so many families where this is so and have tried to support the children (mainly, the male adolescents)... it is a toxic system, and it wears you down, and it feels like it is impossible to change. That's what I am sharing above... what it is like to be an addiction therapist for the entire W. civilization that is addicted to fear and denies that it is. 

End Note

1. If you get the drift of this "Addiction Problem" then if you read more of my work you can re-translate that code-word for "Fear Problem" and if you read the two blogs that were created (after this blog; thanks to my editing flexibility here I can add this end note) you'll see that "fear" (and 'fear') as I have been studying them for 27 years are codes for "evil" ('evil'), that is the 'Evil Problem'. In my recent co-authored book with Desh Subba, "Philosophy of Fearism: A First East-West Dialogue" (2016), you'll see it is not by accident that in the Preface the discussion begins with looking at evil (a la Carl Jung) and linking it with fear and a philosophy of fearism. 

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